… does not exist.
BUT if it did, how would zombies react to an organic diet vs. their usual living fodder?
First, let’s look at the pro’s and con’s of their current culinary habits:
- Pro – it’s renewable. We seem to keep making more humans… and talk about convenience! In most movies, all zombies need to do is hang out and wait for the stupid one to walk or run right into them while looking the wrong way. Puts McDonald’s to shame, I say.
- Con – it’s painful. I don’t know about you, but getting eaten alive and having what’s left of you turn into one of the living dead would basically suck.
- Pro – no refrigeration necessary. Low carbon footprint diet? Eco-friendly zombies? Whoda thunk it!
- Con – it creates one heck of a mess. Have you ever smelled zombie breath?
- Pro – thinning the herd. All you need to do is run faster than the slowest, ergo weakest, member of the human pack.
- Con – that just ain’t fair. Smacks of Nazi eugenics.
- Pro – another shot at life… in a way. Hey, they’re not called the “living dead” for no reason!
- Con – quality of life issues abound.
So, given the above pro’s and con’s, what difference would an organic diet have on our undead zombie pals?
Let’s examine this scene from George Romero’s “Return of the Living Dead” where we may get an actual answer from a talking zombie:
Well, at least we know they like brains. As for organic chow? I have no idea.
Seems to me we’d be to busy running away or barricading ourselves in to worry about compost, pesticides and sustainable gardening practices… not to mention the fact that our grass-fed bovine buddies couldn’t outrun the ravenous hoard and would only encourage them. Have you ever seen how fast some of them could run in Day of The Dead? And they’re not even wearing Adidas’ latest!
After some thought (perhaps too much thought, you’re saying) I’m of the belief that an organic diet would help in the short term by giving healthy humans a leg up (pardon the pun) on their less-healthy compadres. So after the Zombie Apocalypse is over, those in their right minds would stand a better chance of surviving by virtue of their initial health at the outset.
That is, of course, unless the all-brain zombie food pyramid diet makes them smarter with every meal…
What do you think? Leave your comments and let’s dig into this topic
Zombies vs UFC MMA fighters
To see how a zombie would do against an MMA/UFC fighter in the cage, check this out.